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Operation Infinite Purity

Erstellt von ihkawimsns, 07.10.2005, 15:57 Uhr · 5 Antworten · 641 Aufrufe

  1. #1
    Benutzerbild von ihkawimsns

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    Das weiße Haus widmet sich einem der dringendsten Probleme unserer Zeit: der Selbstbefriedigung.

    http://www.whitehouse.org/initiatives/purity/index.asp

    Es darf gelacht werden. Oder auch nicht. Eigentlich wollte ich's erst ins Funforum stellen, dafür habe ich dann beim Studium der Seiten doch zu oft den Kopf geschüttelt. Kein Wunder, wenn dort ganz offiziell Schwachfug wie nachfolgende Auszüge vermittelt werden:

    Myth: Masturbation is harmless.
    Reality: Medical science proves that chronic masturbation causes weakness, depression, forgetfulness and nearsightedness.

    ...

    Myth: Masturbation is a "victimless crime."
    Reality: Theological experts on masturbation have come to the conclusion that masturbation is what is known as a "gateway" sin. This means that masturbation leads to more serious offenses. In fact, practically all rapists, sodomites, child molesters and pornography addicts started out as masturbators.

    ...

    Certain supposedly "primitive" tribes in Africa have completely eliminated masturbation among their women. How was this amazing feat accomplished? Through a very simple operation called a clitoridectomy, which is analogous to circumcision in the male. Clitoridectomy may have a bad reputation in the West, but only because in Africa it is often performed with crude instruments, without anesthesia, and under highly unsanitary conditions. Up until recently, this proud and noble procedure had been outlawed in the United States by the ruling hedonists and sodomites of the Democratic party. President Bush is proud to unilaterally overturn this law by the power of Executive Order #13252-V, clearing the way for safe and effective clitoridectomies for all American females – performed in sterile, modern operating rooms with plenty of soothing anesthesia. A clitoridectomized woman is permanently cured of masturbation and other lascivious behavior, and is ready to resume her life as a decent and productive member of American society. Furthermore, Operation Infinite Purity makes clitoridectomies mandatory for female children (who will never miss the part that is removed if it is done early enough). And surgery won't just be for females! Castration for adult males will become the standard punitive measure for repeat masturbatory offenders.


    EDIT: Wie ich soeben festgestellt habe, höchstwahrscheinlich doch eher eine Satire. Allerdings wohl nicht allzu weit hergeholt...

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  3. #2
    Benutzerbild von musicola

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    ihkawimsns postete
    (...)habe ich dann beim Studium der Seiten doch zu oft den Kopf geschüttelt.(...)
    Ein Schelm, der böses dabei denkt...

    In fact, practically all rapists, sodomites, child molesters and pornography addicts started out as masturbators.
    Ach? Und genauso haben wohl auch sämtliche verheirateten glücklichen und nichtkriminellen Väter begonnen...


    Certain supposedly "primitive" tribes in Africa have completely eliminated masturbation among their women. How was this amazing feat accomplished? Through a very simple operation called a clitoridectomy, which is analogous to circumcision in the male. Clitoridectomy may have a bad reputation in the West, but only because in Africa it is often performed with crude instruments, without anesthesia, and under highly unsanitary conditions. Up until recently, this proud and noble procedure had been outlawed in the United States by the ruling hedonists and sodomites of the Democratic party. President Bush is proud to unilaterally overturn this law by the power of Executive Order #13252-V, clearing the way for safe and effective clitoridectomies for all American females – performed in sterile, modern operating rooms with plenty of soothing anesthesia. A clitoridectomized woman is permanently cured of masturbation and other lascivious behavior, and is ready to resume her life as a decent and productive member of American society. Furthermore, Operation Infinite Purity makes clitoridectomies mandatory for female children (who will never miss the part that is removed if it is done early enough). And surgery won't just be for females! Castration for adult males will become the standard punitive measure for repeat masturbatory offenders.
    Dieser Absatz ist eine bodenlose Frechheit und ein Schlag ins Gesicht all jener Frauen die diese furchtbare Verstümmelung durchleiden mussten...

  4. #3
    Benutzerbild von KlarkKent

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    Würde mich nicht wundern wenn die Seite von Michael Moore finanziert würde

  5. #4
    Benutzerbild von KlarkKent

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    Die echte Seite ist übrigens:
    http://www.whitehouse.gov/

  6. #5
    Benutzerbild von ihkawimsns

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    Ja, genau das war mir dann auch aufgefallen...

    OK, damit kann der Thread wohl wirklich ins Fun-Forum.

  7. #6
    Benutzerbild von musicola

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    Voll verarscht, oder was? Scheisse...

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